I wasn’t always a baby wanting crazy hormone loving chick.
Anyone who has known me a long time or even in the first few hours knows that I
am a diva through and through! I love me and I love talking about me! I’ve been
with my DH for about 7 years and we’ve been through a lot of different stages
since we met each other when I was still a young selfish diva at the age of 19.
Back then if you even mentioned having a child I would scoff at you and say I
am never having a screaming sack of organs hanging off my saggy tit! You would
never catch me ooo’ing and ahhh’ing over the cute little booties or one zees in
the baby section at your local Wally world. 
I recall a day I went for coffee with a DF and was hung over
from the night before of drinking and debauchery. We somehow got talking about
babies and families and I said “they should open up a baby blockbuster! For ppl
who like babies but don’t really want to handle the icky poopie diaper! You can
take a baby out enjoy the cute little face and enjoy the baby bum (that sounds
a little
pedophiley but anyone who’s seen a baby bum just knows what I mean).
And then when the kid starts to annoy you, you can bring it back in and go home
happy and fulfilled!!! If you kept the kid past your return date you got
charged a fee and everyone was happy!! No one would ever need babysitters again
just use Baby Blockbuster a new baby
brought in every other day!!!
The New releases would be along the wall and the 3 years olds and terrible 2’s would be in a bin by the checkout. As for those expensive snacks by the till there would be super expensive baby wipes and bottles that are pre warmed for your convenience. I’m telling you this is a great idea! No?
The New releases would be along the wall and the 3 years olds and terrible 2’s would be in a bin by the checkout. As for those expensive snacks by the till there would be super expensive baby wipes and bottles that are pre warmed for your convenience. I’m telling you this is a great idea! No?
Ok well fast-forward to the present and I still really
really want a baby bum of my own to pat (again really leaning on the pedophile
side a little heavy :S ). I’m 5 days late and have taken out a 2nd
mortgage to pay for all the HPT (home prego tests) that I’ve pee’d on and it’s
frustrating BFN! WTH! I’m starting to think I need to send a search party in
after it. This is the first time in 5 months that I’ve been off schedule and I
was kinda hoping it would be for the BFP reason… Patiently waiting *taps foot
impatiently looking at an imaginary watch on my arm.
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| MICHELLE DUGGAR OF 19 KIDS AND COUNTING THAT'S ONE FERTILE BIOTCH!!! |
SHARE ONE WOULD YA!!!!
You officially crack me up.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea. I doubt there would be many late charges ; )
I think everyone with a newborn should be issued a keen teenager and a baby obsessed old woman. The world would be a better place.
Fingers crossed for a PHPT (positive home pregnancy test). Like what I did there?!
HI! I am so excited to have you as a follower! I just love your blog! I don't see a follow button :( how do I follow you!?
ReplyDeleteOh yay thanks you guys! it should be up at the top left corner.. let me know if it's missing I've been having trouble with the HTML stuff!!! New tech in training LORD help me!
ReplyDeleteNow following and your pretty hilarious! lol
ReplyDeletethanks I'm following yours as well :)
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